I have had some time to clam down. I can't change it, so I have to accept it. Thanks for allowing me to boil over.
I was just reading Sandi's post, and I have noticed that I can feel like grocery shopping, and by the time I get to the end of the produce, I am darting off to the bathroom. By the time I get through the meat section, I have no energy to continue pushing a cart. Dairy, I am hanging on to the cart so I can make it to the check stand, and I am so thirsty that I can't get enough water, but I still have to get through the pet foods, or my babies will claw my eyes out. Then bag my own groceries? Can't I just call someone to help? By the time I make it home, the food can rot in the car. All I want is to climb into bed, and maybe I will wake before it gets too spoiled. So I have made it a point to have my roommate along, so he can do most of the work. When I need a walker, he lets me hang onto the cart, but when it gets too much to push the cart, he takes over again. By the time we get to the check stand, I am sitting down on the bagging area trying to get enough energy to get to the car, while he bags the groceries. Sometimes I feel so ill that I just sit for a short time, and then wait for him in the car. I am thinking maybe that is all brought on by the lights in the grocery store? I am also noticing the back of my arms has like slight red and white splotches under the skin, and it stops where my arms are protected by my clothing. Could this also be from the lighting? It tends to look like it is gone once my coat covers my arms for a while. Or why I think it could be distance that is causing a lot of pain for me, when I am actually walking under the florescent lights? If the lights can cause rashes, and the rashes stops at where my cloths cover me, how can the lights cause pain where I am covered by clothing? With my roommate bagging groceries, and bringing them into the house, I usually have found enough energy by that time to put the groceries away, and I am not running to hit the pillow. Is that normal for you to feel somewhat better once you are no longer under the florescent lights? It usually takes a few hours for me to get back to my normal level of pain after grocery shopping. I have never associated the lighting to be the issue. It is normal to have florescent lights around so I never even suspected them. Maybe there should be a discussion group called 1001 questions with answers about lupus to regain your sanity. So the “ignorant ones” (as in me) can read up and understand these issues without asking 500,000 questions… Or have I already suggested that before?
Oh the rheumatologist visit was great. He actually talks to me! Maybe I already said that too, I think I need to go back to reading and remember where I am at.