Dave:
It's okay to ask for help, especially here. We have all needed it at one time or another. No one can be positive all the time and life throws things at you that you cannot control.
I have not noticed that stress has ever directly caused my counts to go down, but I do believe that stress can affect overall health in so many ways. People always tell you that the answer to that is to avoid stress. I have found that to be impossible so it's not very realistic. Sometimes you have no control over what is happening to you so how can it be avoided? The only way to try to tackle it is to solve one problem at a time the best you can.
Depression is a whole other subject. It's common to feel depressed when you're dealing with health issues. People don't realize until they have problems like that just how important health is. I could write a book about that. I am also on SSDI (not for ITP), started at the ripe old age of 50. It's hard not to feel sad and, I hate using this word, self-pity, for all the things that you've lost. I can tell you what helps me from falling into that hole. I don't know if it will help you, but it's worth a shot.
I make lists every day....things that I make myself accomplish. If I didn't, I would probably sit around and do nothing which only makes it worse. I make myself get up at 7:30 every day. I set my alarm. If I didn't, it would be easy to sleep until noon and waste the day. I like to feel as if I accomplished something and even though I don't get a lot done, I feel good about what I can do. I know that I need to feel a purpose for my days and even if it's getting a load of laundry done and cleaning the toilet, I feel good about that. I was always someone who structured every minute of my time and I can't turn that off. It turned out to be a good thing though as it's really helped now.
I never really feel up to going anywhere either, but I force myself to. Not often, but at least once a month I make some sort of plans and since I can't stand to let people down, I make myself go. I'm always better off that I did. Being a recluse can, and does, make it all worse. So call a friend and make plans to go fishing....then you have that obligation to go. You'll go and you will feel a bit better.
A therapist isn't a bad idea. I have one. Sometimes it's all just too much to handle and it helps to talk about it. I wouldn't say that he has solved all of my problems or gave me any magic advice, but I can figure things out just by talking about them. If money is a problem, schedule them every other week or once a month. I do that until I meet my deductible every year. There are also some free mental health places which are based on income. You could look into that.
It's hard to pull yourself out of the hole, but your life won't change or get any better unless you take the steps. I have also found that doing things for others can help. I don't want to feel like my life is a waste, so I do things like make scrapbooks for my kids with all of the pictures from their childhood. I worked on those for months last year. It's probably not something you would do, but the point is to leave something for your kids that they will always appreciate. I'm sure there is some hobby that you can do. It gives you a reason to want to wake up and although it isn't much, it's something to look forward to.
Your counts are pretty good and in a safe range; are you not happy with them as they are? It seems that you are on the right track with trying to change your eating habits, exercising and going to church. I pretty much eat Paleo also and have noticed some improvement. Getting out with others will also help. As far as exercise, looks like we are in this together. I just started exercising too. I needed to lose 30 pounds, I've gained 20 since I quit working. I started trying to walk on the treadmill every day and so far, between the walking and diet changes, I've lost 10. Not only is it beneficial for health reasons, but it gives you a goal. That will also help with depression.
I don't have all of the answers and have many down days myself, but I do know that keeping yourself busy and not allowing excuses will make a tremendous difference. Follow through with the plans that you listed and keep going. I call myself a Plugger a lot of the time and I am not ashamed of that. It makes me keep going!
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