Hi
Since posting this I think I know why I had the hematoma – I had a temporary dental cap placed on my right side. The permanent one isn’t ready yet – and the temp has come off twice, yet to be replaced. After two replacement I have finally been making more of an effort to chew on my left side- where the hematoma occurred. So I think some food- probably a pretzel scratched my inner cheek. I feel a little silly and embarrassed, but … I think I still would have gotten my numbers checked that day even if I had thought of this.
Poseymint – you wrote “I bet you were so happy!” – which made me reflect. Certainly when my platelet numbers rose in late October, allowing me to get safer surgery, it was very exhilarating - because I had been in crisis for weeks, not knowing if my numbers were going to ever rise out of single digits. A feeling of appreciating every single day lasted thereafter, through the surgery and for many weeks afterwards. But as I returned to work and normality exerts itself with all its everyday stresses and interactions, it is hard not to slip back to not appreciating every day. So did this scare return any of that? Frankly no. Of course I was very very much relieved. But mostly I felt sort of emotionally exhausted. I think it is helpful to achieve a certain detachment if one must live with uncertainty as we must with ITP. I fool myself into thinking that I am good at that until a day, like that day, arrives when I think my numbers are plummeting. It is humbling.
Regarding bruises – I rarely get any unless my numbers are 20 -60. That day I had none, so that was a clue that my numbers were OK. Also, when blood is drawn from me, I can sort of tell what range my numbers are in from how quickly clotting occurs in the dot from the needle puncture.
Poseymint’s post regarding the clotting/coagulation process is helpful. I’ll add this: it refers to “damage” to the blood vessel, which of course happens when we bump ourselves (or worst). But I think “spontaneous” bruising doesn’t need such damage. My understanding of it is that little holes occur all the time in everyone in blood vessel walls. These holes get corrected and this part of the normal process of replacing the vessel wall. There is a balance or homeostasis in this tissue of normal breakdown and buildup as there is in most (all?) tissues. However, if one’s platelet numbers are too low, then some of this “normal breakdown” doesn’t get corrected and there is bleeding = spontaneous bruise, without damage inflicted from outside the body.