One thing I hate about having ITP

Sorry to hear that Cindy. Sometimes it is the depression and low spirits that is the hardest to overcome. Is there anything she would be willing to try....support group, church group, even antidepressant medication can help in the short term.

Cindy, I think it is logical to be down about something like that for a period of time, and each person has a different length of being down when something like that happens. Is there some special treat she would really enjoy, a movie she really wants to see?

RHofm50129 wrote: Melinda, of course, Most of us will die from cancer or heart problems or stroke problems. Do you think most of us all going to die in bed some day, peacefully, and in good health? Rose-colored glasses, my friend, rose-colored glasses. Eight million people in the US have cancer today. A half million of those will die this year. One in four people in the US die of heart disease. Stroke is the third greatest cause of death in the US. Then there are various other diseases that kill people. And remember that many heart, cancer, and stroke patients are disabled by those diseases. So, yes, when we look at the patients in the Hematologists' offices, we are very likely going to be in their shoes later.

You really are cheerful aren't you? I'd hate to have you in the next bed to me in hospital!

I've had cancer, I've got an immune deficiency and I've got ITP. I've found it's best not to dwell on it or it might start to get me down. My glass is half full, yours appears to be half empty. You haven't mentioned dementia yet, that's most likely to get us all.

That's the thing, you can dwell on all the doom and gloom or you can choose to be as positive as possible. I like to keep a positive attitude, stay upbeat, and be happy.

I think of Sandi, Melinda, Jeffrey, Cindy, Ann, Erica, Valerie, Natalie, Tamar and many others around here who deal with ITP and other autoimmune disorders and the help they have given me in staying positive.

Oh, I know it's to be expected for her to be down in the dumps! We all know that. But it's trying to get her interested in anything at all that's hard. She gave up reading because she says she can't see the words; the same with cross word puzzles. She and my dad usually did the big puzzle in Saturday morning's paper, but she doesn't even want to do that.

My sister and I want to join a support group; don't know if we'll get mum to go with us, tho. She tells the dr. she's not depressed, so don't know if anti depressants would do her any good.

I know the stroke has changed her and I'm afraid it's going to get her!

Ok this is Ann's fault sorry (can't blame me I'm innocent). ok blame me it is my fault but Ann trigger it.

I use the term were all going to die sooner or later quite often. and a whole bunch of other things that you could take as half empty or half full. life's to short to worry about later! That said back to the reason I brought up Ann.


You see I have a sister (that's not your fault either Ann it's my mom's fault) anyway back to my sister (the ICU nurse) she has a thought on dementia/ Alzheimer's. Most people say it is a horrible way to die.

My sister would disagree she has the glass is half full theory: Least if you die from Alzheimer's you don't know your dying!





PS: Cindy does your mom help around the house at all? Sometimes when people feel like they are a burden it's because they need so much extra help. But if they can feel like they are helping out it can help focus them in a different directions. Things like folding clothes, dusting anything that does not take fine motor skills?

Cindy,

I'd go along with Julia's idea of having your mom do whatever small things she could do around the house.


Maybe you and your sister could find a support group for family members. Other people in the same situation might have some good suggestions for you.

Julia - you're a nut (can we blame your Mom)?

dru wrote: That's the thing, you can dwell on all the doom and gloom or you can choose to be as positive as possible. I like to keep a positive attitude, stay upbeat, and be happy.

I think of Sandi, Melinda, Jeffrey, Cindy, Ann, Erica, Valerie, Natalie, Tamar and many others around here who deal with ITP and other autoimmune disorders and the help they have given me in staying positive.

I am just patiently waiting for your next mega dose of prednisone! I have quite the list! Always thinking of you Dru!

Jeffrey

Julia,

Out of the wine my friend!

Jeffrey

You mistake "dwelling on something" for acknowledging, treating, and preparing. It does not take dwelling for long on any of those things to create a plan. I doubt you would find anyone more positive about her life and family than I. But I am able to compartmentalize the things that concern me, give them some thought, and do that without "doom and gloom." Geesh

No point arguing whether the glass is half empty or half full, when both are true.


Bottoms up. The next round is on me!

Julia, no she doesn't help around the house at all. My sister picks up her laundry, takes it home and does it then takes it back and puts it away. Her balance is still screwy (still waiting for Extra Mural to come help with that!) and her attention span is compromised. She has to really concentrate on whatever she is doing; I think that is why she fell in the first place, she was concentrating on going into the dr.s office and something else got her attention. I guess she has tried to wash the dishes but she said that didn't go well. Maybe a lot of it is my fault, I do what she asks me to do; she's my mother, how can I say no? She did ask me to make a potato scallop one day, and I peeled the potatoes but made her cut them. That was scary to watch! She says she can't when we ask her to do something.

My grandmother had a stroke that left her one handed. She went to a rehabilitation hospital that built her a special wooden board with a corner ledge and what looked like two nails sticking up that were not too sharp.

This allowed her to put items like potatoes on the board so they wouldn't roll around and she could peel them. All she had to do was push them onto the nails and peel.

Also using one of those rubber flat things you can buy to help open things under stuff like plates and cutting boards will help stop it from slipping.

Doom and gloom and hospitals.....oh my.

I'm not particularly a 'doom & gloomer'...but I am pragmatic. I know I'll most likely die of cancer (all my father's side have) and Alzheimers will start in 5-10 years probably (as has happened to all my mother's family).....genetics.
The one consistent thing about life is that no one gets out alive. That's not doom and gloom, it's just the way it is.

As for hospitals? Just spent most of this week at the the McConnell Heart Hospital...I saw a lot of very very sick folk...my wife being one of them. The very last thing on my mind was that I have ITP.
Interestingly enough though, I was reminded of ITP. After the heart cath, a nicked artery blew out and she was full of anti-coagulants from the cath procedure. Arm blew up like a black & blue balloon, double dose of morphine did nothing for the pain. It took two air bands and 3 hours of someone standing there applying manual compression to get internal bleeding completely stopped...after moving her into the IRU. Since her mom had her first quad-bypass at age 42 and her dad died of massive sudden coronary....it was a little scary. Certainly far scarier than my low platelet counts.

I don't view the glass as 'half anything' ....... I just look at what is and what is not.
In the words of that great and wise sage Honey Boo Boo; "It is what it is.". :silly:
.

I'm so sorry for your wife. I had that happen years ago and it was terribly painful. I am glad they were able to stop it. It is a reminder that even a procedure they consider rather routine and safe isn't always so. My mother went in for a hysterectomy years ago. A day later she was feeling a lot of pain. The doctor said women often had psychological problems after a Hysterectomy and it was likely just hysteria. It was her appendix. It burst. She got peritonitis and was hospitalized for months. early died. She weighed 80 lbs when she came home, down from about 130.

I agree with you, of course. The glass just is. And if you face what you know is likely coming, you can deal with it better than if you deny it. You do what you can to hold it off.

We need to focus on that glass that is half empty or half full and not lie to ourselves. I love that analogy but it is really all about being prepared.
- - If the glass is half empty can you finish it and or are you prepared to handle the empty glass. (is there another bottle of wine and is it chilled? Was that the last of it and what if it was?)
- - If the glass is half full are you prepared to finish it and can you handle it if it filled completely. (can you drink all of it or have you already drank too much?)

If we are prepared than it won't matter what road we have to travel we can travel it. And than if life starts to get you down there is always that glass of wine! Studies show certain wines are good for you!

Weirdjack - sorry about the wife hoping for a speedy recovery!

Cindy - I know how you feel. That is how I was for my mom.

Weirdjack I hope your wife is doing well!

One thing is, yes I am prepared [living will or whatever it is called, my family knows my wishes, and which son gets my ashes which 6 months - that's a joke, they are going to a cemetery not to my sons] - therefore I do prefer to not spout off percentages of who dies of what or to dwell on death because it sure comes soon enough, what good does that do anyone for heavens sake.

Jack,

So sad to hear about your wife - I pray all is healing well and the pain is not unbearable I have to think she is very lucky to have you by her side - I imagine you know how to cheer her up.

God speed in healing!

Cindy Ann

Jack:

I hope your wife improves soon. Sorry to hear about the problems she's had.

Jack,
Thinking of you and hope for a speedy recovery for your wife.

Jack, I hope your story has a happy ending. Please keep us posted on your wife's progress.

Hope your wife is doing better, Jack.

Well, you have been busy little vegemites while I've been gone 10 days. Very interesting thread.

My older sister is currently having chemo for lung/chest cancer - unknown prognosis at this stage. We come from tough stock & she is very stoic about it all. She has lost her voice somewhat due to the treatment & in her words 'loves orangutangs but doesn't want to sound like one!' Her daughter gave her a gorgeous little fluffy toy orangutang with arms that velcro together - she is going to wear it to her treatment session for a laugh.
Yes - we are surrounded by people with aging & health issues. I really do think we need to prepare more for the inevitable, allowing a dignified, loving & peaceful end. It would be more beneficial if the time, money & effort in research for prolonged 'youthful' life were spent on supporting people in 'dying' - physically, emotionally & spiritually. Every time I see another advertisement for 'miracle' cream, 'super' food or 'go go' berries I think we've got it all wrong! Mind you, I'm all for a balanced, healthy life style, but in the end we need permission to go. And for me that means to a place where there is no pain or suffering, only eternal love & peace.
mj

You said it, MJ. I saw a documentary on HBO called How to Die in Oregon. They have legalized physician assisted suicide in terminal cases. As far as I know, only two states permit this. It is the most humane, dignified way to die in my opinion. The patients have to meet certain criteria, it's not like anyone can just decide to kill themselves, but the ones who qualify are grateful for the option. I bought the DVD because it is so touching. I was always pro-Dr. Kevorkian and if people are suffering, they deserve to be able to end it without shame and guilt. I know this is hugely controversial, but no one should knock it if they haven't been in that situation. There is no grace or bravery in having to suffer.

A few days ago there was an article on the web that caught my attention. A man had decided to commit suicide on his 60th birthday - not because of crisis but because he wanted to go out on top. He left a very interesting website to help others understand "why"

www.zeroshare.info/

I have to say we should all have a choice when it comes our time to go.

Cindy Ann

Sandi wrote: You said it, MJ. I saw a documentary on HBO called How to Die in Oregon. They have legalized physician assisted suicide in terminal cases. As far as I know, only two states permit this. It is the most humane, dignified way to die in my opinion. The patients have to meet certain criteria, it's not like anyone can just decide to kill themselves, but the ones who qualify are grateful for the option. I bought the DVD because it is so touching. I was always pro-Dr. Kevorkian and if people are suffering, they deserve to be able to end it without shame and guilt. I know this is hugely controversial, but no one should knock it if they haven't been in that situation. There is no grace or bravery in having to suffer.

Sandi!

You are on my Christmas list! I could not agree more!

Jeffrey

Cindy,

I read that too. To me it was his choice. Not my call. I hope he found his peace.... It was an interesting take. Me, I am not so ready, and I will be 60 in about 4 weeks. I have done some planning. I am donating my body to Indiana University for research (I tried to donate it to Kate Upton, but without results! I crack me up!) I think there should be "options" without judgment.

Jeffrey

jeffrey71 wrote: Cindy,

Me, I am not so ready, and I will be 60 in about 4 weeks. I have done some planning. I am donating my body to Indiana University for research (I tried to donate it to Kate Upton, but without results! I crack me up!) I think there should be "options" without judgment.

Jeffrey

Jeffrey - I would also not make it "my call", and I am glad to know you would not either - you bring to much joy and laughter to this site - I expect you'll be around a long time - even if you can't long distance run you can still support all of us

Cindy Ann

CindyAnn wrote:

jeffrey71 wrote: Cindy,

Me, I am not so ready, and I will be 60 in about 4 weeks. I have done some planning. I am donating my body to Indiana University for research (I tried to donate it to Kate Upton, but without results! I crack me up!) I think there should be "options" without judgment.

Jeffrey

Jeffrey - I would also not make it "my call", and I am glad to know you would not either - you bring to much joy and laughter to this site - I expect you'll be around a long time - even if you can't long distance run you can still support all of us

Cindy Ann

Thank you Cindy. I am glad you can't see me......

Jeffrey