During my second year of graduate school, about two years ago, I found myself feeling utterly exhausted. I assumed everyone felt the same, but my fatigue was persistent. Despite sleeping over ten hours each night and taking naps throughout the day, I never felt rested. Concerned, my boyfriend encouraged me to seek medical advice, sensing that something was amiss.
After a series of tests, I discovered that my iron levels and platelet count were dangerously low. I was referred to a hematologist/oncologist who informed me that I would need iron infusions and further testing to uncover the cause of my low platelets. A few months later, I received an official diagnosis of Immune Thrombocytopenia (ITP). While some symptoms improved with the infusions, others lingered, marking the beginning of my journey with a chronic illness.
Navigating graduate school while managing a newly diagnosed condition presented significant challenges. However, I gradually adapted to the routine of weekly blood draws and various treatment options, learning to navigate my limitations and my strengths. Initially, I was hesitant to fully embrace my diagnosis, fearing that it would overshadow my identity as a teacher, researcher, and a reader. Over time, I realized that my illness does not define me; it is simply one facet of my life.
Now, as I approach the completion of my PhD, I am leading a fulfilling and vibrant life alongside my chronic illness. I am supported by wonderful friends and family, and I have grown more comfortable with the realities of my condition, including blood draws. Where I once feared that my diagnosis would define me, I now understand that it is just another part of who I am. I've learned to practice self-compassion, prioritize rest, and coexist with ITP. Purple has always been one of my favorite colors, but it carries an even deeper meaning for me now.