Steroids, feeling odd

I've got a good few instruments too including the electric piano, flute, clarinet, violin and bagpipes, and assorted recorders and melodicas. Must sell the pipes as I don't play them any more, too antisocial in a built up area!

Find playing the piano is a really good way to relax and forget the world. Can spend hours on it, with headphones to spare the neighbours.

We just got Rocksmith which is a play station game that's supposed to teach guitar. I took lessons for about a year in middle school but didn't seem to pick much up. Maybe I will try again. You guys are inspiring me.

Exercise sound like the way to go. Everything kept inside has flared up and my attention skills are just horrid at this point. I went for a run today. I had no clue how bad it was... Platelets at 200 and rising again. According to some old blood tests from 2009 it's not far from my the 270 I had back then, so I believe if I manage a solid 250 and manage to keep it there for a week or even two I'm quite possibly in perfect remission. That's what I'd like to believe at least... The guitar thing is going preeeetty nicely . Also steroids down to 40 mg. Invega seems to be working well. In the beginning it felt like I was losing the ability to notice the usual mental details around me but now I can I tell it was my mind taking its roots from somewhere else to place them elsewhere. Brain fog is slowly leaving and I can manage the effect it has on my mentality. I'm going to ask for a dose raise since at this point the dose is minimal and it has already been suggested. Ability to focus is heavily needed at this point. You are absolutely right Joerg.

Forty mg of steroids is not a minimal dose. It is a high dose. You don't want to be on steroids for too long or you will start seeing damage to bones and stomach lining and so on. You should be tapering down slowly now.

Minimal dose is Invega at 3 mg. Steroids are constantly going down. Also I think the reason this stuff makes me so bad is because of some addictions of mine. I was stuck... Seriously, this morning I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to cry but barely could. I grabbed my old neurofunk tracks and started looping them to the max to feel better. This is crazy... I guess I never changed anything. Ever. Dopamine levels are close to zero. And steroids are like the fire and they grabbed the edges of something I had just started uncovering. That's why all the fuss. I think I should discuss the possibility of ADHD with my psychiatrist. I always remembering getting a "high" out of all sorts of things younger and had some troubles focusing. Music, thoughts, gaming, obsessions, running, all served as a sort of high to a higher degree than the normal, especially thoughts. I 've always had a thing for creativity and grasping concepts and "strings" of multiple interpretations at a much higher level than other people to the point they became so many I had to block them away. Or maybe it's psychological... Young years weren't the best and I struggled with what was imo Schizotypal PD, never making sense out of some things and constantly stretching the framework. But neither were the last few ones I guess with me struggling for total control over myself 24/7, not being able to accept my mistakes since that meant changing the whole of me. I'm an idiot... Dose is doubled to 6 and I'm feeling increasingly better every day. Today has possibly been the best day so far on the steroids. I have to consider the fact though that last night's pills were 10 mg instead of 15. I need to keep going with doing new things. It's the only way out of this, no matter how hard it seems.

Will, I am heartened that you are doing so much better, both with your platelets and your frame of mind. You sound upbeat now compared to the dark place you were in, and your thoughts seem so much more coherent.

Still, then and now, your writing often sounds poetic, rich in simile and symbolism. I suspect that even without the steroids your mind approaches the world in an unusual way that would lend itself to creative endeavors. With your interest in music, have you thought about writing song lyrics?

Will

Glad you are doing better. Platelets are great and you sound much more in control of your thoughts.

Writing lyrics and generally writing comes easy fairly easy to me I think. Thank you People some times tell me but I often don't realize myself my writing may seem poetic. I did some times have a thing for writing stories inspired by events around me but they may seem silly or overly poetic..

Irrelevant question: could garlic really increase platelet levels? I think I read somewhere about it and I know that the higher the platelet count in the bloodstream the more stable the condition becomes. Any other foods that come in mind?

Garlic is said to rev up the immune system and so makes autoimmune conditions worse. I don't avoid it though but then I'm not a very compliant patient!

predniman wrote: Irrelevant question: could garlic really increase platelet levels?

I don't know about increasing platelets but here it is listed under
Food and Supplements that Interfere with Platelet Function
pdsa.org/about-itp/warnings.html

Garlic does seem to stop platelets from clotting. Tests were the same in both the machine and the microscope.

By the way here's a list for everyone to see what side effects prednisolone has had so far on me. This is everything including some I haven't mentioned until now... Today I felt an almost completely new one after just letting myself completely free. I thought I had smoked 3 bowls of weed. I list it first:

Ecstasy, confusion, psychosis, coordination improvement, dream-like delusions, rounder face, muscle wasting, feeling tired, increased heart rate, thin skin, feeling all of my body massive, feeling limps weak, brainstorming, self-targeted and obsessive compulsive thinking, mania, extremely intense feelings, fear, terror, utter and complete anhedonia, depression so bad I couldn't sustain a normal conversation, anger, dizziness, sleepiness, severe cramps, odd thoughts, memory recalling, thoughts with undetected source, paranoia, an episode of what I thought was almost schizophrenic, lust, crying.

Here's what it has done to me so far:

-Not wanting to go back to my normal intelligence after experiencing such intense feelings. I blame Invega for that...
-Solving complexes
-I realized I 'm bisexual deep down. The most embarrassing experience of my life. I 'd never go with a guy though even after admitting it to myself.
-Reorganizing my speech.
-Showing me all of my kept up anger.
-I'm in love with a girl since high school and I have to tell her. I don't even know how I'm supposed to do that. Every time I take the pills the feeling hurts even more and I can't block it anymore. Today it was almost physical.
-I picked up the guitar and believe it or not I made a promise to join a band...
-Saying sorry to whoever I could for random past mistakes of mine.
-Explaining all of my past.
Showing me:
-I'm crap.
-I need to cut down the internets.
-I need more exercise.
-I need more interests.
-I need to be more decisive.
-I'm a massive egoist and I never do anything to fix my mistakes.
-I'm a pussy.

I still don't know if this stuff is the best or the worst. It's brutal, that's for sure. I'm afraid to go back to who I was. I don't even want to think about it anymore. It's scary. I would have normally spent years to get all these together. It feels like I'm travelling through time. I'm feeling I have left myself behind in the process to the point of derealization.

I don't think I could give up garlic. I'm not the best rule follower I guess. Plus I'm deathly afraid of vampires jk.

Do you think all of these realizations are from the prednilieone or is some from dealing with itp? Not everything listed in there is negative. I would look at the positives and go for them, and the negatives you are aware of and are changeable. And you are so open about everything and are seeking help. I consider you a man of courage not a pussy so get that off the list!

Thanks again. Platelets at 160 today. Dose stays the same. Psychosis is over and now it's just anger and remembering. I realized I almost don't give a crap anymore about my ITP . Taking a ride with the bike far away from home and just screaming the anger out seems to work well. I just keep digging the past... Thank you for your kind words. Things keep getting better and better every day.

Yes ,as if become another person.During that time ,I slep only about 6 hours at most every day;became very shy;ate things without thinking of the stomach;had bad emotions ;think of bad things every day.Of course,with very fat face and broad shoulders,even with slight mustache though as a girl.
I conquerd it by eating all kind of congees(with 10 kind of things at least,good for viscera,i google things good for lung stomach and so on), only if it is good to my body,without solid ,oil or any taste. For my tongue is bitter very much ,I ate things without any differance. I ate for about two monthes,during this time ,i slep veuy well,for i eat vegetabll congees(good for sleep) at night;my face became red and good even moon face(i use tomoto's skin as facial mask);my memory better,and I become smart.I don't worry about things any more,for any problems happened ,I could solve it by severl ways.