Moving

Dan, sorry to hear all of that. Everything falls apart all at once, doesn't it?

I don't know how you'd be of much help to your brother when you need help too. I have had the same thing going on with my Mom for a year and a half and it's been more than I can physically and emotionally handle. You could spend time with him but the truth is, helping really saps what little energy there is. I don't mean for that to seem cold and heartless; it's just the way it is.

You can unload anytime, that's what we are here for.

Ah Dan, so sorry everything has hit the fan at once.

I think your sister-in-law will find within her that she can take care of her husband - my sister just went through taking care of her husband who had cancer, the strength she had was amazing. His prognosis was 6-9 months but he lived almost 3 years after his surgery.

My thought would be - with so much turmoil going on this might not be the right time to make a major decision. [when my Dad died my stepmom was told to wait a year before she made any major decisions]

You can unload with us when ever you want!

Sandi you weren't being cold you were being honest.

Sandi, you are in a very similar situation and you are right. I'm not sure if I could handle that kind of stress day in and out. And you are not being "cold and heartless"...as someone who knows all to well what SLE does you are in a position to help, plus I was raised to understand that a cold truth is better than a warm lie so I'd rather be told straight out as facts are facts.

Melinda, Waiting a year is good advice. I mentioned waiting anyways so hopefully I can put this on the back burner till at least next spring. Then I think it wouldn't be this panicked shoot from the hip type of move, it would be better thought out. Plus it would allow us more time to explore exactly where we go, visit the areas mentioned by everyone when the weather isn't so nice...like visit Ohio in February, OK in August etc....then see if I can handle it. Fortunately I have friends or family in just about every one of the areas that everyone has mentioned and they've all asked us to come for a visit...

I just talked to my brother and he says he's doing OK and doesn't need me to move right now.