Moms

Sandi, how's your mom? I've been thinking about her for a while.
Mine fell out of bed on July 2nd and has been in the hospital since the 4th. Luckily she didn't break anything.

Oh wow, Cindy. Sorry to hear about your mom. Why is she still in the hospital?
My mom is about the same. In and out of the hospital with UTI's. She has several problems going on that can't be diagnosed because she can't go through the invasive procedures to diagnose it. Even if she did, she wouldn't make it through a surgery to fix the problem. She has a heart blockage. She has something going on with her parathyroid glands and she has a nodule on her lung. She's lost a lot of weight recently. All we can do is allow nature to take its course. Assisted living decided to get hospice involved, not because of end of life care, but to help keep her moving. She never wants to get out of bed, but that's been going on for a while.

Sorry to hear all that, Sandi! How are you holding up? Do you get to spend much time with her?

Mum is still in partly because she wasn't walking for the first few days she was there; she didn't want to get out of bed. I had that problem here at home too which is one reason we made her go to the hospital. She hadn't eaten in the 3 days after she fell out of bed either and that was the other reason. Yesterday was the first time she had walked any distance since being there. Physio has been working with her, but anytime she has to sit up, she's in pain. Today, she sat up in her chair for almost 4 hours without asking when she could go back to bed. We're hoping she can come home by the end of next week.

Take care.

Is she depressed? I think my mom is, but I don't know what I can do about it. Nothing seems to help and she was like that even when she was still at her home.
I haven't seen her much lately due to some personal problems. Hopefully it will be resolved soon and I can get back to my regular schedule with her. I feel so guilty, but for the first time in my life I know that I have to put myself first.

Sometimes I think she is. I know on her bad days, I am. And like you, I don't know how to help her.
Yes, with everything on your plate, you need to look after yourself!

So excited! Mum comes home tomorrow! Can't wait!

That's great news, Cindy! I'm happy for you.

How is your mom doing at home?
I got a call Sunday morning that my mom fell and hit her head. They called an ambulance because she hit it pretty hard and was bleeding. Turns out that she has another UTI. She's still in the hospital and might be released tomorrow.

Oh no, Sandi! How is her head? Hope she's doing better now!
Having mom home was short lived! We brought her home on that Saturday, had a good day Sunday and then Monday went to hell in a hand basket. We had her out walking in the hallway and on the way back to the apartment, her legs gave out and she went down. With the help from a couple of paramedics, we got her back to the apartment. She was a little stressed after that, so she just relaxed in her chair. At bedtime, she and I went into the bathroom to get her ready and the same thing happened; she went down again. Another paramedic lift assist and we got her into her room. But about an hour later, she was still too weak to help me, we decided to take her up to the hospital and have her checked out. Well, she's still there. We have two hospitals and she is going to be transferred to the other one. It has a better rehab floor where she will have more help with her care. So now, we're just waiting for the transfer to come through so she can go over.
Take care!

Oh no. That happens to my mom too every time she's in the hospital. She needs a few weeks of PT before she can walk again. She sits in a wheel chair during that time because she gets too weak to walk from laying in a hospital bed. How old is your mom?

She ended up with a few staples in her head. Every six to eight weeks she is back in the hospital. She says she does it for attention. I told her the next time she decides to fall and crack her head open, noon would be better (she fell at 7:30 am).

At least your mom sits in a wheelchair, mine doesn't even want to get out of bed. I think most of her issues are she's scared. Ever since the stroke 4 years ago, she is afraid of some things. When physio goes in to take her for a walk, she gets herself convinced she's going to fall, so she doesn't want to go. When she gets over to the other hospital, they will work all that out with her. The doctor said she should have gone over the first time she was admitted. She turned 87 while in hospital on July 16. 7:30 is the same time I found my mom on the floor!

Hope your mom's head heals fast! Did she get released? Isn't it awful to worry about our parents?

She's being released this evening.

I actually had to place her in Assisted Living in the first place because she refused to get out of bed, just like your mom. She would lay in bed 24/7 and only get up to go to the bathroom or eat something quick (soup or donuts). I was going to her house constantly to clean up and check on her. Last October I went in and found her laying on the floor. I called an ambulance and when she got to the hospital, she had a few bed sores. That's when I knew that she couldn't live at home any more. She would have ended up dying of a blood clot laying in bed all the time and her muscles were atrophied. I couldn't give her the care that she needed; she wouldn't get up for me even if I told her I would take her somewhere. At Assisted Living, they force her to get up every day. It sometimes takes two of them and she gets nasty, but that is their job. Also, she has too many medical problems that need watched all the time, so they do frequent blood work and urine cultures. I couldn't imagine having to take her out for all of that all the time. Taking her anywhere takes ALL day because she is so slow. She falls a lot too, so needs round the clock monitoring. My decision was also a safety issue.

Assisted Living is nice because they have a hair salon and she has her hair done every week....again, another thing I'd have to take her to. That place is a one stop shop. She'd be a full time job for me if I hadn't placed her and I'm not up to it. She also wears Depends and rarely makes it to the bathroom on time so she needs constant changes. It will be a year in November and she still asks about going home, but is starting to get used to it. I feel bad for taking her out of her home and the guilt is horrible, but I had to do it for her safety.

I remember when you had to do that and everything you went through. I often wonder how your mom is doing. And how you are holding up.

Right now, the goal is to get her back home with us. Before the fall, she was fairly mobile. I would get her up in the morning and she would spend the day with us in the living room. It is hard to get her out of the apartment except for doctor's appointments, but once we're out, she'll suggest going someplace. I have no doubt the time will come that we will have to put her in a place that will take better care, but not now. The nurses on the floor is she on are constantly checking her over for sores, and so far, there aren't any. We have someone coming in twice a week so Steven and I can go out and do whatever without worrying. When she does come home, we'll be getting life alert for her too.

We know it's not going to be an easy fix, just as long as it does get fixed.

Cindy, it sounds like she's doing ok for 87! I know she's not ok, but 87 is an impressive age. My mom was 76 when this all started. She will be 80 in September.

She really is! Before this fall, she was asking to go places. Since the stroke, she hasn't wanted to go anywhere. It was hard for my dad to convince her to even go to St. Stephen on Remembrance Day. They would go stay with my aunt, and mum would go across the border and start her Christmas shopping. That hasn't happened in 4 years. But, since moving in with us, we are getting her out and about.

Hard to believe it's been that long. 80 is a good age.

My mom passed away on Thursday evening. The viewing is on Monday. I was with her when she died, as were my daughter, son and daughter-in-law. I will miss her so much!

Sorry to hear, Sandi. Remember memories last forever. Hugs XXX

Oh my Sandi, very sorry to hear.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom Sandi. I am glad that you and your family were with her and wish you peace as you go forward.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Sandi. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Norma

So sorry to hear this news Sandi x

Oh Sandi, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs.

It's tough to lose your Mom no matter what age you are.
My deepest condolences Sandi.

I am sorry to hear that. I am glad you had family around for support.

Very sorry for your loss.

It is so hard to lose your Mom - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

Hi Sandi,
Have been thinking of you already, with the exceptional weather you're experiencing over there.
Now, with the loss of your dear Mom. May precious memories provide much comfort.
Meredith. x

Sandi,

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mother. I'll be thinking of you during this difficult time.

I am so sorry. It's been 3 years and I still have to stop myself from calling her to tell her things. Doesn't matter how old we are...
How are you?
Kathy

Sorry to hear of your loss Sandi. Mothers are so very special. Good that you and family were there surrounding her with love and supporting each other. Take good care of yourself at this time. Bless you.