Dr got mad when I was referred to another hemat

So I like my dr I trust him a lot, I'm now pregnant and when I went to my high risk appt they referred me to another hematologist for a second opinion and to have a hematologist in their hospital network. I have to use this ob because it's the only place that takes my insurance. I don't really need a second opinion over 11 years I've seen many drs and there's nothing that hasn't been tried and I think
My drs doing a great job with me. When I told my dr they referred me to a certain dr he told me no I don't need to see him he will be the dr giving orders. Now my question is how did I get put in the middle of this lol I have to tell the obgyn office I can't see their hemat? Any advice?

I would just try to keep it positive and be confident and tell the obgyn that you appreciate his/her advice about getting a second opinion, but I have been with my hema for a very long time and feel comfortable with him so I will be sticking with him. I don't think they can force you to see their hema.

Keli - personally, another opinion never hurts but you should do whatever makes you comfortable. Your current doctor shouldn't get mad because you want another opinion...that is your right as a patient. You do have a difficult situation and having another opinion isn't a bad idea, but you are also limited with treatment options so I'm not sure what he could add that would be helpful anyway. Your decision!

Does your hematologist have privileges at the hospital where you plan to deliver? If not, it would be prudent to have a hematologist who is familiar with your case who can see you in the possibility that you get in trouble while in hospital.

Your ob has taken on a high risk case, and the responsibility for two precious lives. They should be able to assemble their own "team" as they see fit. Your ob wants someone who's judgment they trust, and who they know can and will respond "stat" if needed. It sounds to me like your ob is asking for a second opinion, and for backup if needed, and is not dictating that you change hematologist.

I am not sure what your hematologist's motivation might be. It sounds protective, but whether it be your best interest or his own ego that he protect, I am not sure.

I would agree with the ob to get the second opinion, and emphasize to them that you understand and respect their need to have their own team in place but that you trust your hematologist and intend to keep him as "primary", that you expect them to respect that relationship, and ask that they keep him "in the loop". Then smooth things over as best you can with your hematologist.

He doesn't have privileges at the hospital but said whoever is there will need to call him I know when it gets closer I'm going to start freaking out because I have no idea who will be treating me there. I have awhile I'm just scared they will call him and he won't be there

It puts me in a difficult place cause if I see the other dr id be going behind his back and if u don't like him is be stuck. We all know how hard it is to find a hematologist that works for us I honestly think my dr would drop me if I went to the other one. Lol this is awful
It sounds like a freakin affair

Keli:

A doctor shouldn't get mad or upset if their patient gets another opinion. You shouldn't be made to feel as if you are going behind anyone's back. I've gone to second opinion Hemo's twice and both times, my doctor knew about it. He wasn't upset at all and he continued to be my primary Hematologist. If he drops you as a patient because of it, then he is allowing his ego to get in the way of the best possible care (which you deserve). Maybe you will like this new doctor, but either way, you are allowed to see whoever you want. Rob made some very good points. He's right.

I think the #1 concern here is the precious life you are carrying - and if something goes a bit "off" while you are in the hospital who do you want?, someone one who will need to be called and told about "it" and then gives his orders/opinions and during that time which has passed....or someone who does have privileges at the hospital and action can be taken immediately?? I know what my answer would be.

And personally I feel your hematologist should be taking your baby into consideration also - for him to say you can't get a 2nd opinion is unreal, for you to think he would drop you if you do?

I think Rob has some good points.

Rob is right. This doesn't require a "forever" change of hematologist, but, if your current one doesn't have privileges at the hospital where the OB practices, and, if you must see this OB, meaning you must plan to deliver at his hospital, then you will need a hematologist, at least during this pregnancy, who can assist you and your OB at this specific hospital. When my teen needed several teeth extracted in order to get braces, we had the converse situation. Our dentist certainly wouldn't do the procedure on a patient with a bleeding risk, so we asked our hematologist to find a dentist within his teaching hospital who could do the procedure. The two had worked together before and were a good team. They developed a plan to use hemorrhage control measures preventively. They both knew the hospital and its procedures and protocols. If there had been a bleed to manage, anyone in the hematology group could simply walk down the crosswalk to the OR and tend to it. We loved our family dentist, and the one doing the procedure knew this was not a permanent change. He was lovely to deal with, and knew that he was being called in for a special purpose only. Perhaps you could ask your OB and your hematologist if your current hematologist could consult with the second hematologist, to coordinate a temporary transfer of care with your current hematologist being consulted and kept advised, and with the understanding you will return to him after the immediate post-natal period. Really, you do need a team who have privileges within the same hospital. This is just a practical measure to protect you and your baby.
Norma

Kelirae, when I was first becoming a grandfather, I watched my "little girl" grow into a steel magnolia as her baby grew within her. Since then, I have seen the same transformation take place in her cousins as they grew into motherhood, and I have come to believe this growth is universal.

Your fears are understandable, but trust that the mother you are becoming will have the strength and the resolve to do whatever needs to be done in your child's best interest.

The child you carry is already a child, and the mother you are becoming is already a mother. The strength you will need is already there, waiting.

Thank you all for your responses and rob that was awesome of you to say lol I hope the strengths in here! I think I will talk to him about this again