Old dying people..

Hi everybody..

Just a little update.. I'm in the hospital right now to receive my first IVig treatment.. They put me in a room with 3 old dying smelly man.. Thank god I have my laptop and there's a hotspot for internet.. YUK..

I don't know what to say. I'm sorry for the elderly men who are dying, I hope they may go in peace. What a shame they are yucky and a bother to you.

That's not what I meant.. I didn't mean it in a disrespectfull way.. I don't know if you've ever had to lay in a room with 3 old men who are on their deathbed.. the room smells really really bad.. The family's are crying and I'm sitting here alone watching it.. it's not a lot of fun.. I'm sorry if I came across as being respectless cus that's not how I meant it.

Caitlin was placed in the pediatric ward because at 14-15 y.o., that's what they do with you. But she was very distressed by all the sick little children and babies. Very. In the hospital, the only truly happy place is where they're delivering babies! Maybe you can take a stroll with your pole...? Or maybe they'll premedicate you with something that will make you sleepy...? Ann, Caitlin's (23) Mom

I think everyone in this situation deserves more privacy. What a shame for all involved. I've done the death bed thing and it should be a very private, intimate enviornment. Good luck to you, Joya!

Thanks everybody!

I told the nurses yesterday that I'd appriciate it if they would put me in a room with people that are as sick as I am.. And that I didn't understand why they didn't allow those people their privacy.. She said there wasn't enough room blablabla..
I'm having my surgery on monday.. and will be admitted to the hospital tomorrow.. I will be admitted to a differtent ward tomorrow.. Am pretty nervous acctually..

Xx

I understand what u mean about giving these paitents and their families privacy, but you have to understand that they don't have enough beds to put you where u like, you just go where there is a bed available. I was in hospital recently and i was in a room with 3 other older males and i was in the surgery ward when i wasn't having anything surgical done, but it was just where there was an available bed for me to go, and yeah it may have been a bit uncomfortable, me a 24 year old being in a room with older males, but it's just what u have to do.

They should at least pay attention to gender for goodness sake.

I am sorry but I totally disagree.. I think it is rediculous to put a 'healthy' 21 year old in a room with 3 terminal 80+ men.. It was a terrible experiens for me.. and I really don't think the family's like it when there is this stranger watching a movie next to the bed where their loved one is dying.. I told the nurse how I felt about it and she said they would definatly put me in a more appropriate room when I come in tomorrow.. If they wouldn't have done that I think I would have concidered going to another hospital.. there are enough hospitals here.. Maybe I sound like a big baby.. But I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life..

Here, we don't put the males/females in the same rooms. I can't believe they did that to you, Angel!

Joya - I have to agree. Last year when my brother-in-law was dying, he was in a room with one other terminal man. There was a curtain between the two. It allowed just enough privacy. Since family was there all the time, there was a lot of crying, a lot of laughing, and we even played some music for him. It was too personal to share with a roomful of people and each family respected the other. The lighting was dim....can't imagine a young girl would want that for days on end. I wouldn't either.

Hey Sandi,
Thanks for the support.. It just feels very uncomfortable.. Like I'm intruiding in a very emotional period for those people..
I also find it very hard to see people who are really ill.. I don't consider myself as being sick, so it's kind of confronting in a way.. It makes me feel like I'm sick to since I'm in the same ward with them..
Monday is the day of my splenectomy.. Can't wait till it's over cus now I'm just waiting on it to come..

Xx

CindyL - It was a bit uncomfortable, but i was only in thr ward for about 11 hours before i went home, i was in the ER for half the night before they found me a room and if i had to stay longer, i think they were gonna try to find a bed in the hematology ward. I have been in wards with males before too, i don't think our hospitals have a rule about seperating women and males, i think they just stick you wherever they can find a spare bed.

Joya - I wasn't saying I disagreed with you. I do agree that paitents who are terminally ill should have privacy with their families and it would be uncomfortable for other paitents to be in that situation. I'm just pointing out that sometimes that is just not possible, unless they make a ward specifically for terminally ill paitents and don't move any other paitents into that ward.

It does seem odd to put males and females in the same room. I'd have a major problem with that and 4 people seems excessive, especially considering 3 of them are so ill they are near death. What a miserable experience.

I've been very lucky, most of the hospitals I've been a patient in have all private rooms. I think that's the reason why I love living where I live, as the hospital here is all private rooms. I don't share space well, especially when I'm not feeling well. The thought of sharing with someone of the opposite sex, would make me so uncomfortable and I can't stand other people families visiting when I'm sitting there in my PJ's or worse a back less hospital gown.

I have private health insurance, so i can ask for a private room if there is one available. I have spent a lot of time in hospitals over the years and so i am used to sharing a room if i have to, but it does feel better when your in a private room.

The hospital that I go to (located in the US) has some units that don’t separate the patients with walls at all. And both sexes are in that area. There are observation/overflow units, where they place patients, just to watch them to decide if the patient needs to be admitted or can be sent home, and admitted later. Or dialysis, Peds ICU, and pre and post op for the cath lab, none of them separate the genders. But all of them have curtains. Even the out patient infusion mixed the genders until they remodled a few months back.

That is still not a comfortable situation if there are terminal patients in the same room that is just too private of a situation. I am sorry that you went through that.

I have only shared a room once, and it was with a woman that was about ten years older then I was, because my insurance at the time wouldn't pay for a private room. I was content knowing that the insurance would pay 100% of the hospital, and doctors bills. I was just greatful that I could finally have the surgery.

I don't think they seperate male and females in de hospital I'm going.. But for me that is not a very big issue.. I don't mind sharing a room with guys my age or a little bit older.. as long as they aren't terminal or very ill.. But I'm going to the surgery ward now, so the people there are sick but in a different way.. they all had surgery and are probably in pain but they aren't dying or having terminal diseases..
I don't want a private room.. They did ask me if I'd prefere a private room, but I do like to have someone I can talk to.. I think I'd feel very alone in a private room since visitors are only allowed in for 3 hours a day..
I'm going to the hospital tonight.. Curious to see in wich room they'll put me..

Our hospitals have private, semi-private and wards. For my three surgeries, I asked for a semi-private. Both times, I had the rooms to myself. Semi means two beds and a ward has four. Couldn't do that. When I'm not feeling well, I like to be alone. When my husband was in the hospital, he was in a semi-private with a man who didn't have many visitors, so it worked for him. In the room next door was a woman who all she did was cry out for help. When the nurses' would go to her, she would clam up. Didn't make for a very restful night!

Yeah, our dialysis department doesn't separate the genders, just the admitting rooms.

It's a tricky one. I guess I am coming at it from the other side - in the hospital where I did my medical rotations (a UK NHS hospital), we would do everything we could to find private rooms for dying patients (assuming we couldn't get them home to die peacefully there - we have a pretty good palliative care outreach service in this area) but it really wasn't always possible. We are not a privately funded healthcare service and private rooms are just not numerous. If there is an infectious patient, for example, they have to have the side room. All our ward bays are single sex, however, and there is no sharing of toilets/bathrooms between males and females (the exceptions being the high dependency areas such as ITU etc and the admission areas such as the ED). And all patient bedspaces are separable by curtains.

I think we all realised that the situation concerning dying patients was far from ideal - of course we would have liked a private room for them - but of the patients I have cared for, the overwhelming majority of feedback we have had from their relatives has been to thank us for caring for them so well. I am sure a private room would have made things easier, but if there are none available, then we have no choice.

As for segregating patients according to age group - this would definitely be wishful thinking in most hospitals here. In medicine, at least, most of our patients are elderly. The simple reason for this is that the eldely, in general, have more medical problems than younger people. If you are young and have a medical problem, then I would argue that you are better off being on the medical wards, rather than on a surgery ward, where patients tend to be younger. We would outlie medical patients to surgical wards, but only those who were stable. Unstable patients remained on the medical wards, since this is where the medical doctors spend most of their time (as most of their patients are there). If I have more than one unstable patient, then I need them as close to each other as possible, since I will need to go from one to the other quite quickly.

I do agree that a 21 year old male in a bay with three eldely, terminal patients is far from ideal, and I am sorry both for you and the other three patients, who do not have the privacy they deserve. I hope their last days/hours are dignified and that you are moved to an environment in which you are more comfortable.