Athena:
I can't tell you what to do, but I would like to give you some points to ponder.
I actually think the response rate for Rituxan is pretty good. Many people here have had good remissions from the treatment (a year or more). Reading the side effects is scary, but most people tolerate it well with few or no side effects. I've been seeing more side effects from IVIG lately than I have with Rituxan. There have been studies that show that one infusion may be enough for ITP, so he may not have to have all four infusions. You could do one, wait about 6 weeks, and if there is no response, go with the other 3. Having all four treatments in a row is not necessary; it's just recommended but for no real valid reason. Most people sleep through the whole thing. I do think of Rituxan as a heavy duty treatment and not one to be taken lightly, but it can be successful and there are many good stories.
Splenectomy is a whole other ball game. Most people think the biggest problem is risk of infection. While that's true, there has been a lot of research lately linking splenectomy to a higher risk of blood clots. There have been several (young) adults lately who had a splenectomy and have had strokes or serious blood clots. Sometimes ITP can also go along with certain clotting disorders and unfortunately, they don't find out until they have had a clotting problem. This can occur with high counts or low counts. Some have had to juggle low platelets and blood thinners at the same time.
I'm not trying to scare you, but I think people need to be aware of this. The risk is even higher if the splenectomy fails at one point and treatments are needed. If you'd like to see some articles, let me know and I'll find some for you.