Hate it when people think you've abused your child

I'm sure I've said before that we found out that Hannah has ITP as her preschool was going to report us for abuse because of her bruising. That was three years ago now. It took us a long time to get over the many accusations which were made even after the preschool was sent a signed letter from the hospital as they demanded.

Anyway, I thought we were totally over that horrible situation until yesterday. My daugther told me how she really hated it that when she was at preschool her teacher took her to the toilets on her own ever day, lifted up her top and trousers/skirt to check bruises and question her about every one. My daughter said she knew her teacher didn't believe her when she said she didn't know how each bruise happened and she thought that the teacher thought that mummy did it. She said this happened everyday until she left preschool, therefore a long time after she was diagnosed.

I had no idea that happened until yesterday I'm so angry that preschool did that to my daughter.

The day my son was diagnosed we had to see another Dr. not his normal because he was booked. She treated me horrible, questioned every single bruise! No matter how many times I said I really don't know that is why I am here, she continued...She asked who takes care of him during day, and if I am alone with him. I asked her 3 times about the "red dots" after 3rd time asking, that's just a rash how did he get this one!! REALLY??!! Yes, I know and understand they need to look for abuse, the ONLY reason my son was seen that day was because I called worried about his bruising. Instead of spending an hour asking me over and over, send him for bloodwork than accuse me!!

She finally sent me for blood work, when I came back up she had me undress him again and showed another DR!! Finally she goes and finds his Dr. He walks in looks at Bryan, tells me it can be many things but suspects ITP when the blood work gets back we'll know more. They (his and other dr) walk out of room, I heard her ask if she needs to turn me in!! He says I am sure blood work isn't going to come back good, NO!! I just saw him a month ago and all his siblings since birth (my oldest was 9 at the time) and I have never seen a problem!!

Point, again I know it is their job, but come on I called you..I didn't abuse my baby than call to show you my art work!! It was just a hard scary day as is, I was terrified my baby had cancer and she spends over an hour accusing me

The first summer when we went out I put my baby in pants because I hated the looks and whispers, I care more about his comfort than people now, but the first summer was hard!

I would be angry with the preschool also, they had a child in their center with ITP they should of done more research and been more educated. Not making a young child feel upset!!

That sort of thing happens all the time with all sorts of issues. I also understand that they are just doing their job, but sometimes it's ridiculous.

My nephew died at six weeks of age. He died in his car seat on the way home from his Aunt's house. His parents didn't know until they got home and went to get him out of the car. An ambulance was called and he was rushed to the hospital, even though there was no chance of reviving him. His parents were grilled by the police for 5 hours. Imagine that...your baby dies and you're accused. They found no evidence of abuse, so waited for autopsy results. He died of pneumonia, and the only symptom he'd had was a bit of a stuffy nose. No fever, no cough. Very tragic situation.

I think that professionals are so used to seeing abuse, that they suspect it even when it doesn't exist. Children need protected, yes, but sometimes the parents do too.

Sorry about your nephew!! That isn't fair, I can't imagine losing my baby than instead of support when I need to grieve being grilled and possibly accused!!

This is so off subject, but here in upstate NY we have a baby missing. He was 9 months old, last seen on porch in a diaper 11 PM..He was NOT reported missing for 3 THREE weeks...Dad can't be charged because there hasn't been a crime committed!!! At this time they can't even tell him he can't leave state!! The baby has now been missing about 2 months!! I don't understand why innocent parents who bring their children to appointments or immediately call 911 can be treated as criminals but it isn't against the law to go three weeks without reporting your infant missing!!

Sorry, just frustrated..Needed to vent!! :blink:

That's terrible Sandi and Crystal. Total agree the inocent people are getting accused and the ones that have done something are getting away with it.

In fact, I think the action of Hannah's preschool teacher is pretty much abuse. Taking her on her own to the toilets, lifting her clothes up, inspecting her body and repeatedly questioning her about the bruises. Doing this everyday especially when there is proof that the bruising ia caused by a medical condition. If you did that to an adult it would be considered abuse, so how can she be getting away doing to a child?

I am an adult with itp who is also a teacher in mandatory reporting. I now can see both sides to the story. Unfortunately I have had co-workers have to report abuse and the child had to be removed from the house. It's really challenging in a society where child abuse happens daily. However, I can see how it can be frustrating when your child has bruises all over and can not be explained immediately and unfortunately only 60,000 people have this disorder so we as teachers assume the worst. I had bruises all over myself and was questioned when i had those. My best advice would be to inform the school of the disorder ASAP and send a pdsa booklet as well.

Grasshopper, you should make a formal complaint. It is tantamount to abuse and the teacher should be disciplined.

Even though ITP may not be all that well-known, there are other bleeding disorders that can cause bruises and educated people (such as teachers and especially doctors) should be aware of that. They should give the parent a chance to prove it before accusing.

Sandi and Ann, I agree with both of you. I think I am going to make a formal complaint. Hannah shouldn't have been treated like that before she was diagnosed, let alone after and I was even being acused after having proof.

I agree. If you had given proof there should be no reason for the school to continue to do that.

In your complaint I would concentrate on the time after you had given proof. To talk about before the proof will just give them something to dispute. To talk only about after gives them no room to manoevre. They should have accepted the proof and not questioned the child at all.

You also need to state what you want to be the outcome from your complaint. A written apology and the teacher to be disciplined would be my thoughts.