TOPIC:

If it rains, it pours. My dad hasn't been well for a few months, so my sister and husband and I finally convinced him to go to the hospital. We took him in on March 26 and found out on Good Friday that he has incurable cancer. The doctor said if he can build up his strength he can come home. We're working on that. Thursday night he fell and broke his hip. Had surgery yesterday. Today he is still a bit out of it, confused and tired. Tomorrow they'll start physio.

Since he's been in hospital, I've been staying with my mom at nights. I've been to my own home 3 nights in the last 3 weeks. Steven comes here a couple of nights a week and on his days off we both go up to see dad. When the time comes, we will move in with mum so she won't be alone. They say things happen in 3's, but we're hoping nothing else goes wrong and dad gets home.

I hope your dad has a smooth post op course. Good luck.

Sorry to hear that, Cindy. I know how hard it can be.

Hugs Cindy!

So sad He and your mom are lucky to have you - Blessings

Sending thoughts and prayers for speedy recovery

Dad came home on Friday! Yea! He is still quite weak and is sleeping a lot. Hasn't been out of bed since he got home. Got to get him to do his exercises. My brother is the pushy one, so he'll make him do them. The staples in his hip didn't come out before he came home, so someone will be in to take them out. Hopefully today.

Wow, he's home already! My Mom was in a rehab facility for three months after she broke her hip. Make sure he gets up and moves around. My Mom ended up with both pneumonia and a pulmonary embolism due to immobility; both are very serious and common after broken hips. I hope things get easier for a while, Cindy. Sounds like you have your hands full.

He's not getting up very much, has only been up once since he's been home. Physio said he didn't need rehab. I think it's just a matter of trying to keep him comfortable until it's time to go into Palliative care. Dr. sent him home so he wouldn't get sick.

They don't have him on blood thinners or anything right now?

Yes, he is on blood thinners. To be honest, I think we'll be lucky to have him for the summer. He just sleeps all day and night. Now granted, tonight he is watching a hockey game; or least he was when I left. I've "moved back home" now that dad is home. He has my brother and unfortunately, we don't get along and the stress on my mother scares me. She's already had one stroke, she doesn't need another one.

Dad has always been a small man, but now there's practically nothing to him. He's living on soup and oatmeal and not even drinking very much.

The good news, at least for my mother, is, we're moving into an apartment just two doors down from them. When I lose my dad, mum will be coming to live with Steven and me. We're going to try and move in in a couple of weeks. That way, I can go to the parents and look after mum and when I need to get away from my brother, I can go home.

It would be so hard to have two parents to take care of. I'm going through something similar with my Mom and it is very stressful.

I'll be thinking of you, Cindy.

Sounds like your dad had a stable hip fracture which is really good news! Good luck on the move hope you do not have to see your brother much or at least things mend between you!


advice seek out palliative care for your dad if the cancer isn't treatable at least make sure he is made pain free so he can enjoy his time left!

Apparently he just had part of the ball replaced in the hip. He's still not walking as much as he should be, definitely not eating much, just soups even for breakfast. Our family doctor was in to see him last week and he's pleased with dad considering the cancer, his age and what he's been through with the hip.

When he was in the hospital, he signed his Power of Attorney, with Mum being primary and us 3 kids as co-secondary. Now my brother wants to have that changed so that he is co-primary with my mother. He just doesn't like that fact that we're paying dad's bills.

When the time comes, Dad has two places he could go to; Palliative Care in the hospital or a privately run home called Bobby's Hospice. Not a lot of difference between the two. Whichever has the room when it's time. He keeps asking me how the packing for the big move is going and my fear is he's just holding on til we get moved in and then he's going to let himself go. With any luck, I'll be wrong. So far he says he has no pain. I'm sure that's going to change in the future.

I love my brother, I just don't like him right now. Especially the way he treats our mother; he has no respect for her or her things. He can't answer a question without getting snippy with her. It's just not a good place to be. I will admit, today was a pretty good day, it being Mother's Day and all!

Good to see you Cindy - been thinking about you & your family. Dad sounds like a fighter! And it sounds like there are 2 great places to take care of him when needed.

You know if I was one of 3 siblings I don't think I'd want to be part of the PoA - that would mean having to get 3 different heads around 1 thing, oh my bless you.

Hugs!

Things have calmed down a bit. My brother isn't pushing for POA. Dad has his good days and bad ones; seems to be more bad than good. Living on soup 3 times a day and still sleeping a lot.

With that said, Thursday is moving day for Steven and I. We got the keys last Thursday and have been moving boxes in everyday. We probably won't have internet for the first little while, so I may be off the grid. Being very close to the parents' apartment, I can take my lap top down there and get on line.

Good luck with the move, Cindy. I'm glad things seem a bit better at the moment.

Good luck Cindy - will be thinking of you.

Yes, things are quiet at the moment. I'm worried about both my parents for different reasons. I got to see my dad for less than 5 minutes today because he wanted to go back to sleep. Everything will be much better once we get moved up there.

Just a quick check in since I'm using my dad's wifi. We're all moved in, just need to go back to the old place and pick up a couple of things and clean the place.

Not much change in dad. Still sleeps a lot and eating very little. The Extra-Mural nurse who comes in says he's plateaued. That could change at any time. The waiting is the hard part.

Are you settled in Cindy?
Thinking of you.

In, yes, settled, no! Haven't had much chance really since I've been spending a lot of time with my parents. Speaking of which, dad was transferred to Bobby's Hospice tonight. He's been going downhill pretty fast since his birthday on the 21st. The last 2/3 days, he hasn't eaten or drunk much. He's getting more confused too. I went in the ambulance with him and my brother and sister followed. Chuck will stay with dad tonight in case he wakes up in a strange place. I really think we'll be lucky if we have him until Father's Day.

Glad to see you Cindy but sad about the news of your Dad. You probably already have found out how fantastic those at the Hospice are, your Dad could not be receiving better care and love.

It's harder this time because when he was in the hospital, we knew he would be coming home. This time, we know he won't. I was just reading a pamphlet on it and their admission criteria is 3 months or less life expectancy. I wasn't expecting that! I just called to see how he was and the nurse said he had a pretty good night. He called my mom last night before going back to sleep; he did that every night he was in the hospital so I thought that was cool. She said he sounded groggy and they didn't talk long.

I think now that he's in Hospice care, we'll start moving mum in with us. Our hope is that we can have her settled in before dad passes away. This is so hard on her and I worry about what it will do to her. My sister and her family and Steven and I all try to spend as much time with her as we can. It's a little easier now that we just live 3 doors away!

Cindy my heart goes out to you - I lost my Daddy a few years ago. You all are doing great with your Mom. Just take care of yourselves too - your Dad knows you all love him and are doing the right thing by him!

Thanks, Melinda! That means a lot!

Hugs!!

I'm sorry about all you are going through, Cindy. I know how hard it is.

Sorry the need for hospice came so quickly! Sounds like your hands are full and very very busy! Sending thoughts and strength your way! Your parents have raised a great daughter! Not all children can or will do what your doing!

Like Melinda said don't forget to take time for yourself. Most important when your in situations like this.

We lost my dad today. He passed away this morning at 9am. He went peacefully in his sleep. At least he wasn't in any pain. We'll begin moving mum down the hall after the funeral next Thursday.