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TOPIC: Life and stress

Life and stress 5 years 9 months ago #45384

  • Winnifred
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Someone said when you have an auto-immune disease your supposed to avoid stress. So what happens you try to avoid it and get nothing but stress! This past couple of weeks/ months.

My son - battling depression and mental illness having thoughts of suicide than bounces back than flips out. He currently wants nothing to do with me. ( I did something wrong again)

My daughter - having seizure type issues possible diagnosis of focal motor seizures (good news new medication seems to be helping).

Myself - working full time (typical job issues)

My platelets are above 100 so that is good.

Than last week I ended up doubled up in pain, kidney stones. Sunday felt great finally passed the stone. Got ready for work stepped outside for a smoke leaned over to put it out and lost balance fell backwards landing on my butt hitting my back/ side. Very sore but off to work I go anyways. Half way through my shift rib pain gets really bad having troubles breathing. Go to urgent care doctor x-ray lungs says you do not have a collapsed lung. You may of fractured a rib or two didn't x-ray them because we do nothing anyways so if they are fractured your looking at 6-8 weeks to heal go home take Advil or Tylenol.

So that brings me back to my first statement stress and autoimmune diseases. How do you avoid stress?

My solution - Change the word stress to life. So I do not have stress ... I just have life!

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Life and stress 5 years 9 months ago #45386

  • meredithjane
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Hi Julia,
You poor love - I really feel for you.

My husband doesn't believe in the word 'stress' either, which has been difficult over the years. However I agree with your thought on it being 'life'. We all have life issues to deal with, some more than others & some worse than others, but it's how we deal with them that is important. Good to have support of some kind, & to take care of oneself, so we can cope. The main thing though is to take one day at a time & be grateful for all the good things.
Hugs from Down Under,
mj

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Life and stress 5 years 9 months ago #45388

  • Sandi
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  • Sandi Forum Moderator Diagnosed in 1998, currently in remission. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2006. Last Count - 344k - 6-9-18
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I'm sorry to hear all of that, Julia. I think when your kids are having problems, it's the worst sort of worry and stress that there is.

I don't know....if anyone could answer that question "How can you avoid stress", they would win the Nobel Peace Prize. I know there are techniques to manage stress, but the few I have tried have not been successful. The problems are still there when you finish your method. Sadly, the best thing that works for me is keeping my world small. I can avoid drama by staying clear of those who cause it (never my kids though, their problems are always welcome).

I am finding too that the older I get, the less I am able to handle stress. There isn't a lot you can do to avoid things like falling, health issues, deaths, etc and sometimes, it all piles up high and doesn't seem to stop. That sort of chronic stress can deplete a person and suck them dry. That's when you have to take a step back and realize that you can't control it, so go with it and hope that it all works out successfully. Give yourself a few hours to do something mindless and not think about it.

I really hate the saying "This too shall pass" because not everything does. Some problems linger for a lifetime and the only time it will pass is when you do! Either that or the end result could turn out devastating. In that case, you don't really want it to pass. That is a hell of a pacification phrase to put on someone, so I won't tell you that.

I also don't like "It's a blessing in disguise". This is how I feel about that:



Some people get to go through life with few major problems or they are able to just whistle through it. I didn't get to be one of them and I guess you didn't either. I don't know the trick to that but if I did, I'd share!

Sometimes something that helps is hearing a sad story on the news. Sometimes people have such horrible things going on in their lives and it sure puts everything into perspective. It's not that I'm happy that other people have things worse; it's that then I realize that maybe I don't have things so bad.

I hope you heal fast and I hope things go okay with your kids. One day at a time GF!

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Life and stress 5 years 9 months ago #45399

  • Melinda
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Sending you lots of hugs Julia !!

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Life and stress 5 years 9 months ago #45428

  • Winnifred
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Thank you everyone!

Sandi - I agree about the kids thing even now that they are grown I can't stop worrying or being there for them. When I was younger I used to ask why me? Now I just say "here I go again!"

On a good note son called yesterday to apologize for the way he flipped out. He also said he realized he hadn't been taking his meds. Which I figured was the reason for flipping out not taking pills goes with mental illness. And even though he didn't apologize for the name calling it is a step in the right direction.

Went back to a different hospital/ urgent care today pain got too bad. They did x-rays again and this doctor said "you definitely cracked some ribs just need to run a platelet count and than we can discuss pain management". Wanted to give me a week off of work but I can't afford to do that.


Platelets 140 whoohoo and Percocets 1/2 to 1 every 4hrs I did agreed to take tonight off and 7-10 days of light duties.

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Life and stress 5 years 9 months ago #45433

  • meredithjane
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Oh dear - maybe the hug is not such a good idea - OUCH!
Hope it is not too painful to take a deep breath . . .
mj

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Life and stress 5 years 9 months ago #45438

  • Sandi
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  • Sandi Forum Moderator Diagnosed in 1998, currently in remission. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2006. Last Count - 344k - 6-9-18
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Julia when they are little, their problems are little. When they get bigger, so do the problems. It never ends....most parents always worry about their kids.

Your ribs will heal so that problem will pass, and it sounds like your son is on the right track for now. I can't remember your daughter's name (she used to come here), but sounds like her issues are under control, so things are calming down a bit.

Stay on light duty, don't be a hero and get better soon!

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Life and stress 5 years 9 months ago #45441

  • dru
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  • I developed hemolytic anemia in 1999 and ITP in 2005. Treatments have been splenectomy, prednisone, IVIG, and Rituxan.
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Julia-
Hope your pain gets better. Glad you now have a few good notes. Life can be so stressful and sometimes when 1 thing goes wrong it seems to snowball into many things.

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Life and stress Update 5 years 8 months ago #45586

  • Winnifred
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So thought I'd give an update! Ever hear of the term when it rains it pours? Well that is my life! hehehe

So I was down to little or no percocets for the ribs only 1/4 at a time and after work. Isn't that wonderful news! Well guess who caught a nasty sinus cold and have none stop coughed for 3 days! Which has brought me back to square one with my ribs! can you OUCH!

On a side note it appears my daughters episodes/ seizures are changing she had one Christmas Eve that appeared to interfere with her breathing.(put my RN sister in a panic mode)

That said I did get a chance to talk to my son's 43 year old girlfriend! Not sure what to think of her now! Guess the age difference is really bothering me. She has a daughter the same age as my son.

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Life and stress Update 5 years 8 months ago #45590

  • Sandi
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  • Sandi Forum Moderator Diagnosed in 1998, currently in remission. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2006. Last Count - 344k - 6-9-18
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Julia - you've got a brand new year coming...hopefully things will start fresh and new with all good things!

At least the cough didn't last long. I got one 3 days after Thanksgiving and am still coughing my head off. Finished a potent antibiotic two weeks ago.

I hope all goes better for you from this point on!

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Life and stress 5 years 8 months ago #45602

  • DeeDee Marie
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Julia, I too have a daughter that has mental illness. Her father is schizophrenic and it runs in her family. She doesn't want to talk to me and I just leave it at that as sometimes she can make up things that aren't true. She has three kids and when they were little, she would act like I was going to harm them. She is doing well now (as far as I can tell), so I am just happy for her even if I am not a part of her life. Sometimes we have to have acceptance of these things in our life. Financially, her and her husband are doing well (both are accountants), so I am just happy for them and hope that she and the girls stay well. When they have schizophrenia, they can act very cold and uncaring--and this is just how they are.

I, too, fell two weeks ago at the post office (tripped in a hole in the grass), so I know how you feel. I'm finally starting to feel better. So like you said, life is just stress!!

I do agree with Sandi--try to keep life more simple. Hugs to you and hope you are on the mend!!

Dee Dee

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